Charlotte Chili Peppers

Team: Charlotte Chili Peppers [ID #477]

Location: Charlotte, NC (Southeast)

Owner: None

Rank: #402 - Rating: 87.23

Fan Mood: 87.92

Prestige: 17

Color: Red & Black

Team Notes:

• Mar 14 2067: Gerardo Maldonado was released.
• Jan 13 2067: Robert Muir was selected to the national team of Great Britain.
• Sep 12 2066: Robin Garrett was released.
• Aug 19 2066: Team relinquished by ccrazy.
• Feb 09 2066: Team acquired by ccrazy.
• Jan 13 2066: Robert Muir was selected to the national team of Great Britain.
• Nov 02 2065: Guillermo Matos was named the league MVP.
• Apr 07 2065: Cruz Quintanilla was released.
• Mar 14 2065: Vic Burnette was released.
• Mar 14 2065: Alfonso Serrano was signed as a free agent.

League Record:

Wins: 20 Losses: 30 Pct: .400 Last10: 2-8 Streak: L1

Ave: 4.1 - 5.2 RS: 203 RA: 262 DIFF: -59 Power Index: 99.7

Cup:

Group 114 [1 | Eliminated]

Press Releases:

Jan 25 2054: Chili Peppers owner pays out millions to fan after long-shot parlay hits - by 12Parsecs on February 23rd, 2022

When sports betting was legalized in North Carolina, Charlotte Chili Peppers owner 12Parsecs quickly opened up a sportsbook at the stadium.

But thanks to a $10,000 opening day bet that the Peps would win the division but finish with a negative run differential --at staggering +28471 odds-- one fan is walking away with a cool $2.8 million.

12Parsecs could not be reached for comment but was found weeping on the floor of the concession stand.

It remains to be seen if the Peps sportsbook can afford to remain open, or what the Biff Tannen-esque sports bettor will do with their winnings.

Oct 20 2040: Charlotte hangs division title banner early as runner-ups take the field - by 12Parsecs on May 20th, 2019

The Charlotte Chili Peppers unveiled their 2040 division champion banner to a raucous crowd – just as their final regular season opponents took the field.

The Peps begin a four-game series against the Chicopee Colts today, but with the division already wrapped up, owner 12Parsecs decided to pop the champagne a little early.

“It was my own little victory cigar,” 12Parsecs said. “ I wanted those chumps to know which team is headed to League V. Spoiler: It isn’t them.”

When asked if it was smart to hang a division banner before the league championship has been played, the owner frowned and muttered something about a 60-day return policy.

Sep 22 2040: Charlotte owner pulls Rip Van Winkle, wakes up in 1st place - by 12Parsecs on May 13th, 2019

Six years after falling into a mysterious coma at Charlotte Colosseum, Chili Peppers owner 12Parsecs awoke in the 4th inning of game against the Urbana Cubs.

As if he had just dozed off for a second, he immediately resumed shouting down at the Umpire about a bad strike call until he realized he had never heard of Urbana.

"Who the hell are these guys?" 12Parsecs yelled to no one. "And why the hell is Mercado pitching? He sucks!"

Manager Dion Clayton explained to him that he had been asleep since the team was promoted to League V — in 2034.

In his stead, the team had been relying on the owner's cat, Poblano, to set the lineups and pitching rotations.

Under feline leadership, the Peps were relegated back to League VI. However, Poblano has been sharp enough this season to maneuver the team back into first place.

"Good kitty!" 12Parsecs said. "Now where can I get a hot dog? I'm starving!"

Jul 04 2031: Charlotte re-signs Doyle after an apparent "clerical error" cut him from the team - by 12Parsecs on April 2nd, 2017

The Charlotte Chili Peppers held a press conference today announcing the signing of 26-year-old outfielder Jack Doyle — the same player they cut just two weeks ago.

It got weird.

Peppers owner 12Parsecs fidgeted and looked away as he and Doyle shook hands. As the two prepared to take questions, Doyle, not realizing his mic had been turned on, said "Why the f**k did you cut me in the first place?"

That's exactly what local reporters wanted to know, too.

"It was a clerical error, you know?" the owner said awkwardly. "I told one of the interns I wanted to get rid of the, um, black soil, right? And next thing you know, he cut Jack Doyle. Classic mistake."

According to an anonymous source, 12Parsecs was drunk when he ordered the GM cut Doyle after seeing his sub-par hitting statistics.

It wasn't until the next morning, when staff pointed out Doyle was only 26, that the owner realized he made a mistake.

"10 years from now we'll all be laughing about this, right?" 12Parsecs said. "Right?"