Sep 22 2045: Milk Machine Reassures Nervous Fan Base - by hurstdm on June 1st, 2020
Team leaders and management addressed fans today in a stylish press conference backdropped by swag from the Moo Cow promotion run to Legends League. Ms. Cow addressed cameras, "Demotion stinks but it's one accursed year. We know what we're doing. We'll be back. Isn't it fun to have the Moo Cow future out there playing ballgames?" Fans have openly questioned hiring manager Otis Dockery. One superfan groused, "He's just hunky. That's why he's here. There should be a law against that. We're doomed."
Nov 01 2044: Moo Cows Stay Up! - by hurstdm on March 26th, 2020
Elation in Murfreesboro after a miserable 2-18 record in May, being mired solidly in sixth place entering summer, and recovering to stay in the top league with a winning record. "We needed 82 wins to avoid relegation. That's how good the competition was," said new manager "Beat Down" Brown. "Everything went wrong, but we're still here. I guess it went right in the end. We're downing bubbly like we won the whole hoolimagig." The Milk Machine should earn their first official "Rank" in the single digits.
Sep 18 2043: Darryl Malloy Night at the Cowabungalow - by hurstdm on December 29th, 2019
The Moo Cows will recognize their long-time catcher on September 19. Drafted by the Milk Machine in 2028, "Motormouth" has 1000+ games in 11 seasons. A lifetime .312 hitter with 1000+ hits, Malloy is one of a handful of players to appear at every level including Legends. "I've had a magic career. Remember that year I stole 15 bases? Wack, right? My whole family wants a set of those plastic chattering teeth with #14 on 'em. Fun!"
Oct 20 2042: Udder Pandemoonium! - by hurstdm on October 20th, 2019
Tiny Murfreesboro to join Legends for the first time! Rising from VI.12 in 2035, the Moo Cows have promoted in 5 of the last 8 seasons! Three core players - Darryl Malloy, Ricardo Quiroz, and Jose Bonilla - have seen action in every league so far and could accomplish the rare feat of playing in all six. Covered in Brut champagne, Malloy cried to reporters, "This team is special. The city is special. Our fans are great. Ms. Cow is hot. My wife is hot, too. We couldn't be happier."
Jun 27 2042: Cows Stomp Two Rebellions - by hurstdm on September 21st, 2019
After losing 10 straight series to the Rohnert Park Rebels, the Moo Cows finally bested the Ro-Rebs 3-2 in interleague play. "We're so relieved," said the manager. "They're good, but really? The e-moo-pire strikes back?" Every press reporter groaned. Additionally, the full Cow pitching staff declared a strike after management lowered the park's fences. Opponents have hit 81 home runs to only 67 for the Cows. "Gross mismanagement," said pitching prospect Ignacio Jiménez. He was promptly released, thereby ending the strike.